Polyvagal theory: A fancy word for something kinda simple, and super helpful for understanding things like anxiety or depression.
Our nervous systems are always on guard, scanning for cues of safety, danger, and threat. This all happens without the thinking parts of our brain.
Polyvagal theory explains that our bodies can respond to these signals via three different pathways, which sit on a ladder:
Ventral Vagal Activation
i.e. Social Engagement System
“I am SAFE”
Here we feel safe, calm, connected, open, and able to talk to others.
Sympathetic Activation
i.e. Fight & Flight
“I feel DANGER”
Here we can feel anxious, agitated, stressed, tense, or overwhelmed.
Dorsal Vagal Activation
i.e. Collapse
“I feel SHUT DOWN”
Here we may feel numb, low energy, disconnected, or depressed.
Some people like to think of it as an upside-down traffic light, where:
Green means ‘GO’ or ‘SAFE’
Yellow means ‘DANGER’
Red means ‘STOP’ or ‘SHUT DOWN’
What’s important to remember is that these responses developed in the human body long ago to keep us safe when humans faced daily threats to their survival from living and hunting in the wild.
Most of the time we would live at the top of the ladder in the “SAFE” mode, talking to friends, and feeling calm and open in the world.
Our nervous system developed these other responses so that if we sensed a grizzly bear charging towards us, our bodies would automatically switch into the “DANGER” response down the ladder and fight or run away. If there was no way to fight or flee, it would then move to the bottom of the ladder and go into “SHUT DOWN” in order to play dead and stop us from feeling too afraid of the bear.
Once we’re safe from the bear, we could move back up to the top of the ladder and feel safe and open with our tribe once again.
This is a normal response that can still protect us today if we are faced with some sort of threat.
However, because in this modern age we don’t have these same kinds of daily threats, our minds and bodies can sometimes interpret issues or stress that we face in our lives – such as conflict with friends or partners, pressure to achieve at work, not fitting in, etc. – with the same “DANGER” response as though we are about to get charged by a grizzly bear. This can feel uncomfortable and confusing, especially when we don’t understand what it is that sets us off.
And because there is often no clear way to fight or run away from these triggers, sometimes we might not know how to climb back up the ladder into the green zone. You might have heard some people call this being stuck in “survival mode”.
Sometimes being stuck in the yellow or red zone down the ladder can mean we start to have negative thoughts about ourselves which can often take over our minds or spiral out of control.
Becoming aware of these signs and signals for each zone can help us to start to recognise where we’re at and learn how to return to the top of the ladder when we need to.
It’s important to remember that it is completely normal, valid and understandable to have these feelings in response to different issues in your life. We all might find ourselves naturally going down and up the ladder a few times a day! Having tools for climbing back up the ladder and into the green zone are simply there so that if you’re ever feeling overwhelmed, you can know how to cope effectively and give yourself what you need.
THE GREEN ZONE
Calm, Connected, Open, Social
“I AM SAFE”
Swipe through for more info, as well as daily practices that can help you stay in the green zone >
What it might feel like in the body:
Relaxed nervous system
Deep belly breaths
Calm sigh on the out-breath
Thoughts feel clear/focused
Sleeping deeply
Feeling rested and relaxed
Feeling present/anchored/steady
Relaxed muscles/jaw
Feeling light
Chest feels open/expansive
Smiling/laughter feels easy and natural
Able to talk to and connect with others fairly easily
Feel curious and open to trying new things
Feeling warm inside
Sense of peace
Thoughts when you’re in the Green zone might sound like:
“I can do this”
“It’s okay to ask for help”
“I can do hard things. It’s okay to fail and then try again”
“I like ___ about myself”
“I feel confident that I can…”
“I don’t have to be perfect. I can figure things out as I go”
“I’m a good/nice/generous person”
“I’m going to give this a try”
“They will still like me even if I get it wrong/say something silly”
“I will still like me even if I get it wrong/say something silly”
Daily practices that can help you stay in the green zone include:
• A daily grounding meditation:
Research shows that even 5-10 minutes of meditating each day can help you feel more open and calm, reduce stress, improve memory, the list goes on. There are some great meditations available on apps such as InsightTimer, Calm, or Headspace, and plenty more on Youtube. If there’s one you don’t like, don’t write meditation off entirely. It takes some getting used to. Plus, there are so many different types of meditation out there, if you don’t like one you’re bound to like another. (See links on next slide for examples of some faves)
• Keep a gratitude journal:
Because our nervous system is always on guard for signs of danger or threat, our brains are actually biased toward the negative things that happen in our lives. We can help shift our brain out of this fear-mode by taking time each day to notice the good, and keeping a gratitude journal is a super effective way to do that. This can look different for everyone. The simplest is to write down 3 things you’re grateful for each day in a journal or on your phone, or instead just tell or text a friend this list. Some people like to write a little “thank you” letter each day to someone for something they did (you don’t have to send it). Or see what else works for you.
• Regular but easy exercise:
Doing regular exercise that is fun, easy, and not too tough on the body is so good for the nervous system. Yoga especially has been found to be really useful for teaching the body to stay relaxed and release stress. Running, walking, swimming, bike rides, dancing, tai chi, have all also been found to be super helpful. Again it’s all about finding what’s right for you. The Nike Run Club app is awesome because you can listen to their guided runs and learn to run in a way that feels good. (See links on next slide for examples of some faves for both yoga and running)
• Sleep:
Studies show that one of THE most important things for emotional regulation is sleep. Adults need 7-8 hours sleep each night to keep their nervous system functioning their best — teens need at least 9 hours. Look online for some tips on sleeping well.
Not only can these sorts of daily practices help improve your overall wellbeing, they can also make it easier to calm yourself when you need to if you ever find yourself in the yellow or red zone.
‘Why Sleep is the Most Important Pillar of Health’
This is a great podcast episode to listen to for tips on getting a good night’s sleep.
THE YELLOW ZONE
Anxious, Stressed, Overwhelmed
“I FEEL DANGER”
Swipe through for more info, as well as some helpful strategies for when you’re in the yellow zone >
What it might feel like in the body:
Racing heart
Pain/tightness in chest
Sweating/clammy hands
Difficulty focusing/concentrating
Feeling nervous or powerless
Shortness of breath/feel unable to breathe deep
Feeling sick/light-headed
Need to go the toilet more
Headache
Trembling
Muscle twitching/tension
Jaw clenching
Tight feeling in throat
Face feels hot/flushed
Stuttering/Stammering
Restlessness
Can’t sleep
Frustration/irritability
Crying
Difficulty making decisions
Feeling self-conscious
Physical aches/pains
Excessive worrying
People Pleasing
Thoughts when you’re in the Yellow zone might sound like:
“I’m not cool/funny/pretty enough”
“I’m so stupid”
“I’m not as good as them”
“I’m going to mess up”
“Everyone has to like me”
“I’m a burden. I shouldn’t speak up/ask that”
“Do my friends think I’m weird?”
“I should be better/more popular/getting better grades“
“I shouldn’t be feeling this way”
“What if there is something wrong with me?”
“No-one else worries about these things. Why can’t I just be normal?”
“What if I get called to answer a question in class?!”
“Everyone is looking at/judging me”
“I need to make them happy, even if it’s at my expense”
If you notice you’re in the yellow zone, you can:
• Remind yourself:
That this is a nervous system response. You can say “thank you” to your body for trying to protect you, and remind yourself it’s okay to be feeling this way.
• Do something relaxing:
Because being in the yellow zone means that your nervous system is sending a ‘danger’ alert, doing something that is calm or relaxing can help to remind it that it’s safe. Curling up in a quilt or weighted blanket and rocking yourself in a chair, taking a warm shower or bubble bath with a few drops of essential oils, hugging a stuffed animal or pillow, going for a walk in nature, listening to calming music, or massaging your hands slowly with lotion are all things that can help calm you back down.
• Take action:
Sometimes you can feel too stressed or full of anxious energy in the yellow zone and the idea of calming down feels impossible. This could be because of the ‘fight or flee’ urge that your nervous system is sending you.
It can be helpful to ask yourself “What does my body want to do right now?” and see what the impulse is.
If the urge is to fight or to hit something or push something, see if you can find a healthy way to do that. That could be by punching some pillows, throwing those pillows against the ground, or placing your palms against a wall and pushing as hard as you can for a while.
If the urge is to run, you could go for a run! Or if that’s too much for you, you could even just sit on a chair, and let your arms and legs gently mimic the movement of running, gently and slowly stomping your feet against the ground or swinging your arms. Once the impulse is gone, do something to calm and ground.
• Ground yourself:
Being in the yellow zone can make you feel on edge. Grounding yourself back to the present moment can help remind your nervous system to calm down. You can do this through mindful breathing and meditation. (See links on next slide for some examples)
• Notice your thoughts:
A lot of times in the yellow zone, anxious or worry thoughts can take over. The blue section goes through how to work with your thoughts, and includes a super helpful app you can download for free.
• Exercise:
Exercise can be so helpful to release anxious energy, regain a sense of control, and calm the nervous system. For the yellow zone, something that can be helpful is shaking that energy out. You can put on your favourite music and dance it out, do some yoga, jump on the spot or with a jump rope, or just stand and shake each body part on the spot. (See links on next slide for some examples)
THE RED ZONE
Down, Depressed, Disconnected
“I FEEL SHUT DOWN”
Swipe through for more info, as well as some helpful strategies for when you’re in the red zone >
What it might feel like in the body:
Fatigue/exhaustion/tiredness/feeling burnt out
Can’t sleep/Can’t stop sleeping
Feeling overwhelmed
Feels hard to talk/move
Feels like everything is a dream/isn’t real/like everything is foggy
Feeling detached from yourself
Dissociation
Reduced appetite/increased cravings
Loss of interest in usual activities that bring joy
Difficulty focusing/concentrating/can’t think clearly
Difficulty making decisions
Numbness
Feeling tearful
Frustration/irritability
Low mood/sadness
Muscle fatigue/aches/pains
Feel spaced out
Light-headedness
Headaches
Feeling drained
Sensory overload
Restlessness
Thoughts when you’re in the Red zone might sound like:
“I’m worthless”
“I’m not enough”
“No one cares about me anyway”
“I’m a horrible person”
“I’m completely hopeless”
“No one likes being around me”
“I have no energy to talk to anyone”
“I don’t have the motivation to…”
“I feel like a burden”
“I don’t see the point in doing anything”
“Everything feels too hard”
“I don’t know who I am”
“It’s never going to get better/ work out”
If you notice you’re in the red zone, you can:
• Remind yourself:
That this is a nervous system response. You can say “thank you” to your body for trying to protect you, and remind yourself it’s okay to be feeling this way.
• Slowly move your body:
When you’re in the red zone, this ‘shutdown’ response of your nervous system can make you feel frozen or out of touch with yourself. It’s why you can start to feel really unmotivated, tired, or find it hard to move. Learning to bring some movement back in your body can start to signal to your nervous system that it’s safe to come out of the red zone.
It’s important that this movement is slow and mindful, because you don’t want to shock the nervous system. You can ask yourself “How does my body want to move right now?” and whatever the impulse is, do it mindfully and slowly, almost like it’s in slow motion.
If you don’t have any impulse, doing things like yin yoga and tai chi can really help, or even just a gentle walk in nature. Just make sure they’re nice and slow. See QR codes/links below for examples of some faves)
• Practice assertiveness:
Assertiveness is speaking up for ourselves and our needs with honesty and respect. When we’re in shutdown mode, we can feel disconnected from ourselves and our voice. Being assertive can help shift our brain out of this response. The safest way to do this would be just to practice assertiveness with yourself.
You can write in a journal about things you feel angry about, or write “I” statements such as “I’d like…” “I need…” “I prefer…” — this can be about a particular situation, or about smaller things like “I prefer the colour blue” or “I’d like to go to the beach”.
You could also imagine a character in a TV show or movie who always stands up for their friends, and imagine what that character would do for you. You could even take up martial arts or self-defence classes. See what feels right for you.
• Stimulate the five senses:
This helps remind the nervous system to wake up out of shutdown. You can smell some essential oils, touch the fur of a pet or fuzzy pillow, listen to some music, mindfully eat an orange, etc.
Something worth mentioning is that because you’re trying to climb back up the ladder in order to get to the green zone, you have to climb through the yellow zone to get there. It may mean that if you’ve been feeling low, down, or depressed for a while, you might start to feel anxious before you feel better. Know that that’s
normal and can be a good sign, even if it feels a little scary.
Orange Zone: Panic AttacksSIGNS OF A PANIC ATTACKCoping StrategiesIf it’s a FriendHelpful Links + Resources
PANIC ATTACKS
The Orange Zone
Panic attacks are kind of like Yellow and Red combined. It’s like your mind and body think the grizzly bear is coming for you, even though there isn’t one, and it doesn’t know whether to fight, flee, or shut down, so it’s feeling all responses at once.
It can feel really overwhelming, and can show up in all sorts of ways for different people.
Swipe through for more info, as well as some helpful strategies for when you’re in the orange zone >
What it might feel like in the body:
Extreme fear/anxiety
Heart palpitations/pounding heart
Difficulty breathing/hyperventilating
Chest pain/tightness
Chills/hot flashes/sweating
Dry mouth
Trembling/shaking
Muscle tension
Uncontrollable crying
Stomach pains/nausea/vomiting
Dizziness
Feels like you’re choking
Tingling/numbness in hands/arms/feet
Feeling like you’re having a heart attack/stroke
Feeling like everything is a dream/isn’t real
Feeling as if you’re dying
Feeling detached from yourself
Fear of losing control/going crazy
A sense of impending doom
Vision problems/can’t see
Can’t speak
Can’t hear/it all sounds muffled
Feeling like you’re going to faint/like you’re falling
“Do I call for help?!” thoughts
Losing your sense of time/feeling like this will never end
If you feel a panic attack coming on, you can:
• Remember:
What you are experiencing is a panic attack, that you will be okay and that it will pass. Give yourself time.
• Count your breath:
One deep breath in through the nose for 1…2… 3… 4…
One deep breath out through the mouth for 1… 2… 3… 4…
When you breathe out purse your lips like you’re trying to gently blow out a candle
Repeat until your breathing returns to normal
• Look across the room and name different objects and their colour out loud:
eg: “This is a blue pen” “This is a black bag” “This is a green cup” “This is a pink folder”
• Name things using all five of your senses:
eg: “I see the blue sky” “I hear the trains going by” “I smell deodorant” “I taste mint” “I feel shoes on my feet”
• Focus on physical sensations that feel familiar to you:
Can you feel your clothes against your skin? What does it feel like to dig your feet into the ground, or press your palms against each other?
• Lean against a wall, or sit in a chair and feel how it supports your weight:
Then notice — Where is your body making contact with the wall or chair? What does that feel like?
• Repeat a mantra out loud:
eg: “I am safe” or “This will pass”
If you notice a friend is having a panic attack, some things to remember:
• Stay calm:
By staying calm and talking to the other person in a normal, steady voice you can actually help the other person’s brain remember what calm is like and their body will start to mirror you and calm itself back down.
• Use their name:
Calling someone by their name actually stimulates their prefrontal cortex, the rational part of the brain that goes offline when a panic attack happens. It can be really helpful if you say their name a couple times when you talk to them, like “It’s okay Adriana, I’ve got you. It looks like you’re having a panic attack,
remember this will pass. Hey Adriana can you try counting your
breaths with me?” This will help bring them back into the present
moment and diffuse some of that panic.
• Give them space/don’t crowd them:
If there is someone with them already, maybe give them some space. The impulse might be to all run up and use the person’s name to try and calm them down and be there for them, but having more than one person around might be too overwhelming for them.
NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
Working with your Thoughts
We all have negative thoughts. It’s totally normal. But as you have seen, sometimes if we’re stuck in the yellow or red zone these negative thoughts can start to get louder or spiral out of control.
Scroll through for some strategies you can use to help you begin to notice and reframe your thoughts and your self-talk >
• Challenge your thoughts:
Just because you have a thought, it doesn’t mean it’s always true.
Write down a list of just a few of the negative thoughts you think the most about yourself. It could be:
”I don’t like my ___ (skin/body/hair/whatever)”
“I’m not smart enough”
“I don’t fit in”
“I’m ugly”
Next to those thoughts, think of a way you can challenge them. If you don’t like your hair, maybe you can think of a time that you DID like your hair. If you feel ugly, try to think about ONE small part of yourself that you like, or think of a time in your life that you maybe felt a little bit pretty. Or if you don’t think you’re
smart, you can consider “I feel smart when I… (am in geography class, when I’m talking about art, when I show someone how to…)”. Try to think of those times when that thought hasn’t been true in your life, and write them down. You can do this any time you have a negative thought pop up.
• Keep a list of positive affirmations:
The most important thing about this list is that they have to be things you actually believe. If you don’t love yourself, saying “I love myself” over and over again won’t do anything. But, if you find small things you do love, like, or believe about yourself, they are worth being on the list. You can look up some examples of positive affirmations online and tweak them to suit you.
One simple example is thinking “Yay me” whenever you start to notice a negative thought. It can mean “Yay me for noticing this and wanting myself to think more loving thoughts”
• Notice how you talk to yourself in your head:
Write down some of your most common self-talk. Now think about how you would respond to a friend if they said that about themselves. You can actually respond to the talk in your head as a friend in this way. Some examples include:
“I can’t do this. It’s too hard.” … “I know you can do this. We can figure it out. Here’s how we can do it.”
“I feel so stupid for not getting it/making that mistake.” …
“You’re learning, and you did the best you could at the time.”
“I shouldn’t be feeling this way.” … “This feeling is temporary and it doesn’t define you.”
Think about other supportive things you might say to your friend:
“I’ve got you”
“I hear you”
“I’m here for you”
“You did your best”
“You are so strong”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself”
“You did great!”
“I love you anyway”
“I love your outfit”
“You’re so funny!”
This is a super helpful app. When you notice yourself struggling with a negative thought or belief, you can click on the app and it will prompt you to quickly work it through.
C.A.R.E.S.
(Communicate Alternatively, Release Endorphins, Self-Soothe)
This is a full, in-the-moment strategy you can use if you’re ever noticing yourself going into red or yellow, and feel like you’re spiralling. When used together, these strategies are known to help calm the nervous system and bring you back up to the green zone.
If you ever feel too overwhelmed by negative thoughts or feelings, before you let yourself spiral, do an activity from EACH of these three categories:
1. Communicate Alternatively
2. Release Endorphins
3. Self-Soothe
The next few pages have some examples of activities you can choose from. If one doesn’t work for you, don’t write the whole thing off – it does work – you just need to find the ones that work for you. You can even write down the strategies that you like the most from each category and make up a ‘CARES’ box to keep at home with supplies for these activities.
‘CARES’ has been adapted from the work of clinician Lisa Ferentz.
1. Communicate Alternatively (10-15 mins):
When our nervous system goes into the yellow or red zone, we often go to a pre-verbal part of the brain that doesn’t know how to speak about what’s happening. Finding a way to communicate in a way that reaches this part of the brain can help the nervous system calm itself and get un-stuck.
Draw/paint the body parts that feel the most uncomfortable.
Draw what your emotions feel like. Their colours, placement, texture, size.
Make a collage of words/pictures that capture your thoughts/feelings.
Find the lyrics to a song that express what you are feeling.
Journal your thoughts and feelings. Write a poem or stream of consciousness, don’t lift your pen/pencil off the paper just keep writing even if you scribble “I don’t know what to write”.
Describe what you feel by talking into your phone (you can delete the recording straight after).
Ferentz, Lisa. Letting Go of Self-Destructive Behaviors (p. 219). Taylor and Francis. Kindle Edition.
Draw an outline of your body and write words on various body parts.
Write what was happening just before you started to feel overwhelmed, and what you maybe needed in that moment.
Sculpt yourself or the situation in clay and treat the clay with how you feel about yourself or the situation.
2. Release Endorphins (10-15 mins):
Endorphins are like naturally occurring pain-relief or feel-good hormones in the body. We often experience it through hugging, laughter, or an intense burst of physical activity. When we stimulate the release of endorphins it can short-circuit the overwhelmingly negative thoughts or feelings that we may be having. It sends a signal to the nervous system that we are safe from the grizzly bear.
You can do one activity for the whole timeframe, or do a few minutes of each strategy (physical activity/laughter/hugging).
Run up/down the stairs or march in place.
Do 100 jumping jacks.
Do a warm-up yoga video on youtube. (See links below for some examples)
Punch a pillow/punching bag
Put on some music and dance it out.
Watch some funny videos that make you laugh.
Hold/hug/stroke a teddy bear, stuffed animal, pillow, or pet.
3. Self-Soothe (10-15 mins):
One of the most important ways our nervous system learns to calm itself down and feel safe is through acts of comfort and soothing. Knowing how to give yourself this comfort and elfsoothe is so helpful for when you find yourself in the red or yellow zone. These things may sound kind of silly or too simple, but there’s a reason they’re on here. Each of these activities sends a signal of safety and calm to the nervous system.
Wrap yourself up in a blanket/quilt and rock yourself in a chair. (Weighted blankets can be great for this too).
Take a warm shower/bubble bath (if at home).
Play soothing music.
Sing to yourself.
Massage hands slowly with hand/body lotion.
Read positive affirmations.
Slowly blow bubbles to slow down breathing.
Put your headphones in and listen to a grounding meditation. (See links below for some examples)
Learn More
There’s always more to learn.
Scroll through for more information about the nervous system, trauma, and how to heal.
Some experts like to call the green zone the ‘window of tolerance’ – the zone where you are able to tolerate the emotions and experiences that happen in your daily life. When you’re within this window you are able to learn, have a sense of safety, and be engaged in life, even if you are feeling stress or other difficult emotions. If something particularly emotional or stressful happens that starts to feel like too much, it can overload your nervous system and temporarily push you out of your window and into the yellow or red zones. While things might occasionally push you out of the green zone and into the yellow or red zone, for the most part you are able to return to the green zone and stay feeling safe and calm.
However, sometimes when we are exposed to a lot of stress, are feeling unsupported, or are facing other difficult situations for a long period of time, our ‘window of tolerance’ can start to get smaller. This can mean that things that you were able to stay in the green zone for in the past suddenly make you go into a ‘DANGER’ or ‘SHUT DOWN’ response. Have you ever had a really tough day or week, where everything seemed to go wrong, and suddenly something little like dropping your wallet or keys makes you fall apart? This is because our window of tolerance has shrunk.
When we’re outside of our window of tolerance, and living in the yellow or red zone for long periods of time, the experience often feels like too much to tolerate. It can mean we start to have negative thoughts about ourselves which can often take over our minds or spiral out of control, and can sometimes cause us to try to cope in ways that maybe aren’t so healthy or appropriate.
Becoming aware of the signs and signals for each zone, as well as the things that can cause us to move into these different zones is so important. Being able to identify where you are at any given moment will help you be able to soothe yourself and restore a sense of calm and safety within you. The goal is to help you widen your window of tolerance so that you can learn how to experience “enough”, rather than too much or too little.
It’s important to remember that it is completely normal, valid and understandable to have these feelings in response to different issues in your life. Having tools for climbing back up the ladder and into the green zone are simply there so that if you’re ever feeling overwhelmed, you can know how to cope effectively and give yourself what you need.
Other Helpful Resources
- Beyond Blue has so much information and support available. You can call 1300 22 4636 to talk to someone at any time of the day or night, or chat to someone online via their website by clicking here.
- If you’re struggling it can be really helpful to see a personal counsellor/therapist/psychologist, if something like that is possible for you. Whether you end up seeing someone now or years from now, just remember – there are so many different kinds of support people out there, so if one doesn’t work for you that doesn’t mean another one can’t! Sometimes it can take a few goes to find the person that’s right for you 🙂
Click on the link below to download a pdf booklet version of this information: